Uninspired

Unispired

Today begun on a sad note.

One of the prominent police chiefs, whose legacy is sure going to live on forever, was murdered in cold blood by unknown assailants. The news left me shaken, so much that for the most part of the day, I almost didn’t accomplish much. A few client calls, follow up with my team and a training but none of them seemed to be able to hold my attention long enough. My mind wandered, I had questions on my mind, searched for answers in my heart but found nothing. I am still shaken by the inhumanity we live amidst, because I cant fathom what kind of crime can get a man killed in such brutality. Not even a confrontation? You just boldly shoot at someone in broad day light, just outside his home, without a care for his family or where he was going and the lives he was about to inspire.   Lord have mercy! Rest in peace Afande Kaweesi. You will be missed dearly.

Media houses are always prompt to review such incidents and a list of similar shootings was published on social media sites as more and more news of the deceased flooded my phone through every available platform. My spirit sighed in pain, my heart bled. I no longer feel safe in my own country. Today it’s them, tomorrow any one of us or someone we are very close to could be caught in the crossfire like the driver and bodyguard. We can only leave it to God, and have faith in Him that He will make everything alright for all.

These killings of our own people should stop. It’s brutal, it’s heartless, it’s immoral, it’s uninspiring.

But that is just one among many of the things that leave many of us uninspired. I will go back in time here for a bit and work my way back to this moment. I will try my best to think of those situations that do not inspire any lasting good except scare a soul into submission. Or those that rob you of life itself and either leave you stone cold dead or lost for a reason to live, and you just waste your life away.

In a home, a father was always the most feared person, well, for obvious reasons. I don’t know about today though, I see a lot of Father-Children bonding lately. Maybe things have changed. But where I grew up, the whole house would go silent when we heard him come home. One because he is Dad, then he is head of the home (they love the title or just exaggerate it a little too much) and I remember mine was LOUD! You did not want to upset him because if he did raise his voice or even just start talking to you about your mistakes, he did not know how to keep it down and save you the embarrassment. Nope! Everyone had to know you did something and all you could do was pray nobody makes fun of you. I never liked this one bit, it was very uninspiring. I tried not to cross him, but those moments always show up.

Have you ever turned to your mother and she shifts the blame to you? It’s happened to me a few times but I have seen it a lot in many other places or should I say families. Many women find it easier to micromanage their children, for many reasons of course but mostly it’s their insecurity and failure to trust you to make good of anything for yourself and so they never believe that you were truly a victim. I have learned that no matter what, I will always hear the person out before lashing out at them. God help me when my motherhood days clock in. A mother is the last person you want doubting you. She is the ultimate ‘encourager’ on earth and when she doesn’t care for your side of the story, it stings. That is very uninspiring.

Then came the school days when you had a teacher who picked on you, or there was a bully in your class whom the teachers favored yet he/she always knocked the daylights out of you at every chance they got. I had a teacher in P.$ who decided that for all his lessons I had to kneel in front of the class, sometimes with arms raised above my head for the entire 45 minutes that was the duration of his class. God knows I will always remember his name. How do u pride in punishing a child like that? I don’t get it. I still don’t know what kind of satisfaction he found in that. Was I the only one or there was another victim of his in another stream? Wherever he is, I forgive him. I will never know why but it’s okay. I hope you are living a good life. I didn’t pass because I loved the subject but because I was scared of being on you’re worse side of intentions.

In  High school it wasn’t so bad, maybe because it was my very sickly era. So the enemy wasn’t a teacher per say but the school nurse, who used to seem enjoying serving me the largest and most bitter tablets. Sometimes I just couldn’t swallow them, no way, so I ditched them. And that always earned me the big needle. That wasn’t the goal I wanted to achieve, I simply wanted to go home. But she never used to get the memo. You know boarding school would get so boring, and all she had to do was give me a pass. We are very good friends today, but back then,nah ah!

The most uninspiring part of university was having to commute from one of my sister’s home, while I pursued my diploma. I missed all the fun the kids were telling me about. Of course i tried to hang out but always had to leave just when the fun started. Then while pursuing my Bachelors degree, I had to work. Juggling a bank job and school wasn’t a piece of cake. Of course the down side was not being a regular student with plenty of time on their hands. i missed a lot of coursework and tests and always had to beg the lecturers for mercy and second and fifth chances. But I made it despite all. In between? Not so inspiring.

And then my very interesting corporate world, where you meet adults who are still in fact children deep within. They hold a grudge against you for no apparent reason. Your downfall is their pride. I had to leave a job because one superior just couldn’t allow me to balance school and work,because she couldn’t have the same luxury. Her position was higher and more demanding, but why blame it on me?

Henewe, those are the games people play. I have learned to focus on my main goals and not pick fights. To look for the best in those I work or interact with and be as objective as life can let me.

At the end of day, life goes on. Being stuck in a situation doesn’t help or inspire anything nor anyone.  So I will inspire as many as I can inspire and be inspired equally so. Life is to be lived and appreciated for those of us who still have it. And I will do my best to LIVE FULLY.

#BreakingLymyts

 

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