I just wanna rant a bit. Its about the things we girls don’t get about the boys we meet. Yes, they are boys because a grown man doesn’t disrespect a woman like this. At least I wanna believe that until proven otherwise. Well, here’s what my issue is.
Every boy is the nicest person when you meet, and vice versa. Expectations are also high on either side. But for the lady, it all goes higher when the he over promises what we hope he will deliver. Case in point is promising undying love which dies much sooner than promised. But maybe I shot too far there. Let me break it down, as best as I can. We’ll call the girl Lala and the boy Dipsy.
They meet at a social gathering and appreciate what they each see, moments later, Dipsy approaches Lala. They hit it off quite well and exchange contacts. Chatting back and forth and the calls are getting longer. He visits her and as her guest, she prepares a decent meal/snack. His turn comes to host her. The excitement is building up of course, until he unashamedly states that he expects her to do the cooking, and oh! Wash the dishes and his clothes and iron them too, give his place a thorough female touch too, because why? Your a woman and I am a man. Your supposed to take care of me. Total buzz kill. What happened to winning my heart over and officially bring me home so I can do all that for you? As your wife?
Let’s start over, in another place and time. We are leaving a party and Lala needs a ride to the main stage to get a bus home. Dipsy happened to be driving out after dropping a friend and offers a ride. The chit chat is quite interesting, he extends the ride to a nearer bus stop to her destination, just to have a little extra time with her. They exchange numbers and keep in touch, though he is such a random person. Almost unavailable at normal hours of the day but gets online late in the night. He picks her up one evening and they go for a movie. He explains his timetable and it’s quite understandable why he gets to the phone late. At least he makes an effort to check in, what else does a girl want? An ice cream date and dinner another week, they are getting on well. Then she travels for a few days for work and gets back to a pile of workload and doesn’t call him. He checks in and she apologises and just when they are about to make an appointment, he states that she ought to check on him because men are like babies. Total buzz kill. What happened to a man earning the respect he deserves and all the perks that come with it by acting like a real man? A real man takes charge and does for a woman what he expects her to do in turn. As in….? Please make the late Dr. Myles Munroe your friend (through his videos and books), he will teach you how to be a real man. Step up, please!
Sometimes I experience things with guys that I just don’t get. The stereotypes alone are way too annoying and it is worse if a fellow lady believes in them and gets herself hurt, can’t listen to advise because a stereotype says *****. How do we make relationships better? Girls are groomed everyday to be good wives but the boys are not taught be good husbands but rather to exploit the good girls. Expect her to cook for you, do your laundry, shopping and so many other things your mother was doing for you plus intimacy. Where do I as a woman find pleasure in a relationship if it’s all about pleasing the man? I need a drink!
The examples are so many! Sometimes you hear what other ladies have experienced and you laugh so hard and other times you are just outright pissed off by what these sons of women are capable of. In this little bubble I call my world, there certain standards I consider basic for any healthy relationship to begin. I live everyday learning from the best examples what it takes to make a great wife and an amazing mother, goals I want to achieve. And so help me God! But first, there are a few standards a girl expects the man to meet before anything serious can commence. So dear bachelors;
Companion or House help?
If you want to have a lady in your life, decide first and foremost WHY you need her. Is it to be your life companion or you just need someone to do your chores? If the latter is true, there is so many maids for hire, who will do your cleaning and can fix you enough food for a week. Please do not subject someone’s daughter/sister to such lowliness just because you can. Taking on house chores after you marry her is an honor, because you have given her a home and she will naturally love to maintain the environment for you and herself. So please, if you have not married her yet, no matter how serious the relationship is, when she visits, she is still your guest. Give her a treat. Respect her.
Now why would you turn a nice girl into a whore? Leave alone those who intentionally offer themselves, by the way, they too were good girls who were taken advantage of but had no one to help them stay in line. So as you see that lady you so much want to hold and feel, think of how to make her your wife first. Then you will have all the freedom to have fun with her. I have seen innocent ladies suffer immensely because of the selfish interests of unruly men. Some have paid with their lives after getting pregnant and he insists you abort or even doses you without your knowledge or consent. This life!!! Lord, help your daughters.
Friends with benefits?
This is a different arrangement, and one I would respect but I also expect it to be agreed upon by both parties. Not a guy taking advantage of a lady by initiating this arrangement, while letting her believe the relationship is serious. I have witnessed this myself. The lady wakes up to news of a wedding/engagement of the same guy she has hopes in, but it is not her in the picture. Very devastating I must say. And this brings to life one particular proverb that says; “Familiarity breeds contempt”. The level of engagement you have with someone can easily be turned into hate of the same magnitude. So now you know why where there was so much love, you suddenly witness such contempt you wonder where all the love evaporated to. So guys please, don’t initiate what you cannot maintain and should you have good intentions but along the way wish to walk away, communicate with her. It will sting but you will walk away more peacefully, else you will be looking over your shoulder all the time until further notice. I wouldn’t want to live this kind of life.
I will say no more. Will continue to pray for a respectful and responsible future husband.